One Day At A Time
by CBloom2
Summary: Contains a spoiler from the Spring trailer. Had to do something after last nights episode. This is a small insight into how they are dealing.
**All I can say about last night's episode is...Oh my god, how amazing! Got a bit of everything in it.**

 **SPOILERS: This is based on a scene from the Spring trailer - you'll know the one when you read this.**

 **As usual I don't own anyone that you recognise, they belong to the BBC.**

 **One Day At A Time**

Cal was worried. Not just a little concerned, but down right worried! The cause of his present state? His little brother.

It had been a few long, stressful weeks since the death of their mother and the reveal that Ethan was carrying the gene to develop Huntingtons in the future. At first, his brother had shut down completely as the shock had taken over, but more recently, an even more worrying trait had begun to take over.

Over the last couple of weeks, Ethan had been involved with some rather hairy situations. Assisting at an explosion site, diving headlong into a cave in to help some of the victims, to name but a few. But earlier that day had really taken the biscuit. Ethan had been treating a young man who had been knocked down by a 'friend' - only the 'friend' had turned out to be part of a gang and had turned up in the ED to make sure of his silence. He had pulled out a knife and Ethan, without any thought for his own safety, tackled the knife man, managed to disable him and kept him there until the police arrived, leading to this moment, right now.

"Cal are you alright?" he heard the familiar voice of Charlie next to him.

"Yeah, I'm good," he sighed, his eyes fixed on his brother, who was talking to the police.

"He was very brave taking on that man..."

"He was reckless and stupid!" Cal snapped, glancing at Charlie, who didn't look shocked at his outburst.

Charlie understood where the younger mans anger was coming from. He'd had many conversations with Cal over the last few weeks, many involving tears and recriminations. What else he had found out was that Cal felt incredibly guilty for being the one who was clear. The older nurse had lost count of the times their talks ended up with Cal wishing that he could take it all away from his brother, to make him alright, however, Charlie was also well aware that Ethan was pushing his brother and everyone in the ED away.

"It's like he's got a deathwish or something," Cal exclaimed, his breath catching as he made a sudden realisation.

Before he could say anything else, the police walked past them, leaving Ethan sat alone in the staff room. Cal swallowed hard seeing his brother looking so lonely...so lost.

"Oh Charlie..." the older brother breathed.

His friend placed a hand on his shoulder, "Take him home," was all he said.

Cal watched his brother for a little while longer. He could tell that he was deep in thought. His stomach clenched when he saw the younger man take off his glasses and wipe his eyes.

He drew in a deep breath, and walked in. Ethan looked up at him with wide eyes, "Charlie's advised me to take you home," Cal explained.

Immediately, Ethan began to shake his head, "No it's fine Cal. I can finish my shift."

"Ethan, you've just taken down a guy with a knife, you're in shock..."

"And I can still do my job!" his brother snapped.

"I'm not saying you can't, but the shock will hit you soon and I think that it would be better at home, where you are not worrying about who's watching you."

"Fine!" Ethan exclaimed as he shot to his feet, striding over to his locker and began to get changed.

Cal watched him unashamedly. The younger man's body language was making it loud and clear how he was dealing with everything. He was tense. So tense that all of his movements were rigid - anger radiated off him in waves and due to the fact that Cal knew him better than anyone, the older brother could see the outright fear hidden underneath and what killed Cal the most was that he didn't know how to help him this time.

When he had finished changing, Ethan slammed his locker door and moved to get his coat. Cal, seeing the torment on his brother's face, decided to address the situation.

He placed himself in front of the door, so that Ethan's only way out was through him. Ethan stopped in front of him, looking at the floor, "If you want me to go home, then you need to get out of my way," he told him in no uncertain terms.

Cal shook his head, "Talk to me Ethan," he said simply.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine, my work is fine, everything is _fine_ ," he ground out.

"Of course it is," Cal replied with a hint of sarcasm.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the younger man demanded.

Cal sighed. The last thing he wanted was to argue with his brother, but he could sense that Ethan was at the end of his tether.

"What's going on with you Ethan? You would never throw yourself at an armed man, before..."

"Before I had no future in front of me," Ethan shot back.

"Don't say that," Cal pleaded.

"Why not? It's true. There's no use trying to deny it Cal - my life is over!"

Ethan pushed past his brother and stormed out of the building.

For a few seconds, Cal stood stock still, shocked at his brother's outburst. Then he grabbed his stuff and after catching Charlie's sympathetic gaze, he quickly followed his brother into the frigid night air.

"Ethan! Ethan, wait!" Cal yelled at his rapidly dissappearing brother.

Thankfully, he managed to catch up with him and grabbed his arm. He spun him round to face him, noticing the light glinting off the rogue tears that were falling down the younger man's face.

Cal hadn't seen his brother cry since he had found out the result. He himself had cried rivers of tears - for his brother, for himself, for the situation that they now found themselves in, but he had never seen his brother cry in all these weeks.

"Ethan, your life isn't over. There are trials happening all over the world in the hope of finding a cure or at least a way to live with it. You're still young, this may happen in your lifetime," Cal desperately tried to get through to him.

"Highly unlikely. I just have to face the fact that I'm a dead man walking."

Cal cringed at the use of the phrase that he himself had used on numerous occasions to wind his brother up.

"Don't say that - just don't..." Cal begged.

"Why not? It's true and you know it is!"

Ethan turned away once more, only to be caught again by his brother, "Please don't walk away from me Ethan. I'm here for you," Cal told him, his voice betraying his emotion.

"Huh, like you always are. You'll be off on the next train - this'll be to much and you'll run, just like you always do!" Ethan bit back, regretting it as soon as it left his mouth, especially when he saw Cal flinch as if he had physically hit him, but he was on a roll now, "It's so easy for you to say that - you're not the one with this rolling around in your head all day - wondering if every little twitch or jerk is the beginning of the end..." he broke off when he saw rivers of tears falling down his brother's face.

"I may not be the person who is carrying this around with him every day, but I am his brother and it is not 'easy' to know that the only person in the world who I truly give a damn about - whom I love more than anything...is...is going through this hell, and will not let me help him. You can't push me away Ethan and I won't run away...I promise."

Ethan grabbed at his hair in frustration, "Why did it have to be me?" he yelled into the dark night sky, "Why couldn't it have been you?"

Although Ethan's question felt like a sucker punch, he wouldn't show that to his devastated brother, "I can see that you're angry..."

"You bet your life I'm angry. I feel like I want to rip you limb from limb..."

Cal swallowed, then spread his arms open, "Come on then, hit me, if that's what you want - hit me!"

To the older man's surprise, his brother swung his left arm and landed a punch onto his upper arm, then another, then another, "Fight back!" he yelled.

Cal stood his ground. He wouldn't fight back, his brother needed it, "No I won't," he told him gently.

Suddenly, the fight left Ethan and he legs began to buckle. Cal caught him as he descended to the floor, tears cascading down his face, "Oh Cal, what am I going to do?" he sobbed.

"Shhh, I've got you little brother. I've got you," he told him as he drew him close and tight to his chest, resting his chin on his head. He could feel the tremors coursing through the smaller man's body.

"I didn't mean what I said," Ethan snuffled, "About wishing it was you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone especially you."

"I know you didn't. If I could take this burden from you I would. It's my job to protect you but I can't protect you from this. But you are a strong person Ethan, so I do know that you won't give in without a fight."

"I don't know if I'm strong enough," he admitted.

"You are - and I will be here for you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise..."

"That's just it though," his brother cried, "I can't expect you to give up your life for me."

"You're my brother, who else would I do it for eh?" Cal smiled slightly.

Ethan seemed to calm as he pulled away from the older man, "Where do we go from here then?"

Cal helped him to his feet and put his arm around him, "We go home. We have a whiskey for the shock that's bound to take hold soon, we sleep, and we face another day. We take it one day at a time. What do you say?"

Ethan wiped his eyes, and smiled at the determination on his brother's face, "Make mine a double!"

 **Does the ending sound a little rushed? I didn't want them to say the same things over and over again. Hope it was ok.**


End file.
